Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
