:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
don't judge my taste in strippers
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
