its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize