Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
