Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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