dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
