Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
