Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
