yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
