um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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