This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
COCAINE IS GR8
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
