would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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