she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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