this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
