I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
