He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
