Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
