there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
