this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
