You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
