I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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