Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
D3 body, D1 cock
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Everyone says I win the strip club
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
