If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
