I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
