We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
