I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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