i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
