I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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