he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Randomize
