Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
