New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
