My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
worst night to have a conscience
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
