I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
