I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
