You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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