i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
