I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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