have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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