dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
