I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize