haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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