its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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