Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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