Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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