i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
