I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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