Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
