Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
