Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
