I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
