I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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