On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Do you have feelings for this penis?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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