Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
and she was petting her beer can
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
