She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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