is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
