tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
