I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
