escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
