Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
