I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
