I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
