The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
