Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
