I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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