got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
