i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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